I have Japan to thank for making me gay. I’m pretty sure it did anyway, since it’s fairly dessicated my mojo. I keep checking the mirror to make sure, and while I don’t look a whole lot gayer than before, the evidence is certainly mounting. Like I woke up this morning, and instead of my usual manly breakfast of cold pizza, eggs, and coffee, I had yogurt. Fruit yogurt. Now, to be fair, Japan does have some really amazing flavors, like aloe yogurt, fig yogurt, mango . . . Ah jeez, I’m just glad my uncles aren’t around to see what I’ve become. Thank God they all passed away from a lifetime of bourbon and Lucky Strikes. Continue reading “How Japan Made me Gay”
How Japan Made me Gay
