Strange English I can’t Understand

Living in Japan, you’re basically trapped in a tiny spaceship, peering down through clouds and picking up intermittent snippets of news floating skyward from earth. I first heard “Poker Face” in a smoky Shinjuku karaoke bar, when some girl belted out Mum mum mum mah. Some complicated lyrics, those. And I learned the results of the U.S. election in a similar joint in Oita prefecture. Okay, so I do a lot of karaoke. Beer helps. Anyway, what I mean is that it’s not easy keeping touch with Western culture, and even harder understanding why singers are now called Gaga and Presidents Trump.  It’s like the world’s gone crazy, and English with it. For example:

1. White Privilege

I take this to mean that white people enjoy advantages in countries where the majority is white. How is this even a thing? Not saying it’s right or whatever; only that it’s obvious.

Here’s something else obvious: Yellow Privilege. In the nation of Japan, people who look “Japanese” have an edge over the “lesser races.” Japanese folks are welcomed in stores, spoken to as adults, can join teams and clubs without a second thought, and assume positions of power. It might be a while before the country, you know, gets a black President. Or a white police officer. Or much more than a half-Mongolian librarian. But we don’t need a special term to describe this reality. People who appear “non-yellow” expect to be treated differently. Just how, varies, although you can anticipate being treated like a child, an idiot, an amusing guest, a criminal, or perhaps just ignored. Of course, if you’re white, you might get the privilege of teaching second-graders. Or if you look “Indian,” maybe you can work in a curry restaurant. That’s Brown Privilege.


Ken Seeroi spent about two weeks trying to work this one out. Young Only Love Old? Yellow Orange Lavender Olive? Yurts Overseas Long Overdo? WTF? Look, I get that it’s helpful to use acronyms to shorten things you say all the time, like FBI, NSA, and USA, but how often could you possibly say YOLO? HOCYPSYOLO? Is it too much to ask for English-speakers not to use strange English? Is this your revenge for kanji? If so, well played.

3. Foodie

Okay, tell me if I’ve got this right. Foodie is like when you watch too many episodes of Martha and Snoop and suddenly something snaps in your brain and you start believing you actually know dick about food. Or you dine out so much that the MSG finally clogs up your synapses and you spontaneously type out Yelp reviews with words like “infusion,” “squid ink,” and “ragout.”

Of course, there’s a word for people who really do understand how produce is grown, prepared, and served. That would be “chef,” as in someone who went to cooking school and can actually make a meal that doesn’t involve a microwave. But I guess just deciding that you’re a foodie is easier than doing anything resembling actual cooking.

And now apparently there’re even sushi foodies, who write about “amazing” American sushi bars and make readers in Japan want to throw our PCs off a high ledge. Seriously, the stuff you’ve got there tastes like you convinced a buddy in Tokyo to run down to the Japanese 7-Eleven with 500 yen, grab a pack of sushi, put it on a slow boat to the States, then hired an Asian dude to serve it to you for sixty bucks with a side of sake which almost nobody in Japan drinks anyway.

But okay, if you really want to write about sushi, maybe you ought to at least be able to identify the ingredients. So take your tackle box down to the pier, catch a fish, determine what kind he is, then slice up his little silvery body into tiny pieces and eat him alive. You might want to raise a few varieties of rice while you’re at it. Repeat that for several years and then feel free to write all the sushi bar reviews you want.

And by the way, if you look at what Japanese people have on their plates, it’s often not sushi, but sashimi. In a country where people are obsessed with fitting into their skinny jeans, nobody’s trying to slam a bunch of carbs before bedtime.

4. Active Shooter

I’m trying to picture the situation in which somebody firing a gun is not active. Like, “We’ve got a passive shooter, arm-chaired and dangerous.” And the SWAT team crashes their tank through some dude’s trailer to find him in a Lazy Boy with an AR-15 going, “Aw man, I was gonna shoot more, but I had to take a nap instead. So sleepy.” Do you really need to say active shooter? Have you no sense of redundancy? The fact that you’ve even got an expression for all the times somebody goes ape-shit and shoots up a bunch of the citizenry does not speak well for your country. Just saying.

5. Tactical

So I went online to buy a flashlight, in preparation for the next life-threatening earthquake. Can’t be too prepared in a nation full of volcanoes. And apparently now there are these things called “tactical” flashlights, which look just like, um, regular flashlights. Which begs the question—-what could possibly be tactical about a flashlight? And now it seems there’s all kinds of other “tactical” stuff: backpacks, tents, pens, hats. A tactical hat? Seriously? What does it do? Are you sure you’ve even got the right word? A tactic is like, “Hey, what tactic should we use to approach those hot girls at the bar?” And you’re like, “I don’t know, but I’ve got my hat, pen, and flashlight, so somebody’s getting laid tonight.” Yeah, good luck with that.

6. Fuckboy

This question jumped out at me on Quora. “What is a Fuckboy?” Such deep questions are very helpful, because they remind me why I should stop reading Quora. But all right, my curiosity got the better of me, and I clicked the link. And now I’ve wasted two more minutes of my life. But from what I gathered in that time, Fuckboys are preppily-dressed, clean-cut young men. Are you sure you didn’t mis-type “frat boy”?

The term sounds pretty derogatory, which is also perplexing. Does this mean American women don’t want young, attractive, well-dressed men? The whole thing’s confusing. Also, you know, not to nitpick your English, but doesn’t “boy” mean a person who’s like eight years old? Putting that together with “fuck” make you sound like a pedophile. Again, just saying.

7. Alt-Right

At first, I thought this was a keyboard shortcut, then I found out it’s like a club. Who names their club after a keyboard shortcut? A bunch of angry people, apparently. What they’re angry about, I really don’t know, since I’m terrified of clicking any website associated with them. Ken Seeroi’s not trying to get flagged in some government database. Paranoia, now there’s a word I actually understand. Anyway, from what I can gather, the alt-right contingent really likes people who are “white.” Which makes me wonder: Are Italians okay? French people? Israelis? Russians? Help me out here, because— although the Japanese seem to have no problem with it—-skin color seems a wildly unreliable way of predicting who your friends are.

Oh, and they don’t like some guy named Glenn Beck. I think because he’s too weepy.

8. Kardsashian

This is all very confusing, but here goes. So there was this guy named Bruce Jenner, and he was the greatest athlete in the world, because he won a gold medal in a sport that was actually ten sports rolled into one. The fact that such a thing even exists should probably negate the entire Olympics, but well, there it is. And then a few years later—-get ready for it—-he decides to become a woman. I was like, Holy shit, is there nothing this guy can’t do? I mean gal, whatever. Still, way to live your dreams, man.

So anyway, then there’s this other guy named Kanye West and apparently he’s a terrible driver, because he crashed his Lexus and it messed up his face. But he wrote a song about how bad of a driver he was, and it became popular. Then he married this woman named Kim Kardashian who’s got a giant ass and a whole bunch of sisters and she got tied up by burglars in a Paris hotel and they stole like a million dollars of her jewelry.  Then somehow that God only knows, the giant ass woman gets connected to the greatest now-female athlete in the world, who’s going by the most hick name ever of Caitlyn. And there’s also this other lady with a huge ass named Blac Chyna, who apparently has yet to discover spell-check. No doubt there’s a diagram that shows how all these nut-jobs are interrelated, but if so, please don’t send it to me.

9. Stolen Valor

First of all, I’m trying to understand why anyone would want to impersonate a soldier. Like, could you not set your sights a bit higher? Walk around in scrubs with a stethoscope, or wear a toque and carry a chicken and a pot. Astronaut spacesuit? Top hat and Scrooge McDuck costume? Stuff a sausage down your Levi’s and pretend you’re a porn star? But nope, you’re gonna go with doughboy. Well, fair enough.

Now, it’s hard to understand why this is a problem. I mean, the whole nation of Japan’s full of white people pretending to be English teachers, and nobody seems too plussed about it.

Even in the U.S., you’ve already got a state full of people who play dress-up 24/7. That’s called Texas, and it’s chock-full of dudes impersonating ranch hands, with boots, cowboy hats, and oversized belt buckles. But nobody’s whipping out their iPhones and losing their minds over the whole thing. And then there’s this group of weirdos called the “Furries,” who dress up as dogs, sheep, and cows. I really don’t understand America. But I’ve never heard of anybody confronting a Furry, like “Stolen hide! Cows gave their lives for you, you know! I had a buddy who was ground up and made into delicious patties, and now you’re impersonating him—-you know that’s a federal offense? Take off those horns!”

When it becomes an actual thing to go out and search for people dressed in fatigues and confront them—-I mean, get a hobby already. Japanese folks don’t even have that kind of time. We don’t freak out when you come over here wearing your yukata, geta, and hachimaki, like Stolen samurai valor! Seriously, you gotta learn to let some stuff go.

Moshi Moshi, Earth do you Read Me?

So I was Skyping with my brother last weekend. It was nighttime in America and naturally he was drinking a beer. He is my brother, after all.

“Beer,” he said.

“Nice. You know it’s dawn here, right?

“Hey, breakfast of champions,” he replied. “So, how’s the Soyuz capsule holding up?

“Fuel’s lookin’ a bit low, but somehow maintaining orbit. How’s earth?

“Never better,” he said. “Got a new Prez who’s gonna encircle the nation in barbed wire.

“That should help keep the Americans in. The rest of the world thanks you,” I said.

Then we looked at each other for a bit, and shook our heads together through the silence. Finally I asked, “Is the U.S. getting crazier, or is it just me?

“Nah, it’s you, man. You only notice it more, now that you’re not here.

“Yeah,” I said. “Yeah, I guess.”

After we hung up, I went down to the 7-Eleven. It seemed too early for a pack of 500-yen sushi, so I just grabbed a can of coffee, a can of corn soup, a hot dog bun filled with spaghetti, half a pickled radish, and a can of mackerel. Now that’s a breakfast. I’m just thankful I live in a country where everything’s normal.

67 Replies to “Strange English I can’t Understand”

  1. Reading the title I thought this was gonna be about how high hopes were soon followed by disappointment the first time a Japanese girl asked you for “consent”, but it’s just as good.

    1. Consent? What am I consenting to?—Again, more English I don’t understand. Seriously, I’m gonna have to enroll in a language school. But anyway, thanks for reading.

            1. オヤジギャグ? Seriously? An entire nation utters a collective groan.

              But thanks for pointing out the obvious.

    2. I think the joke is, maybe you’re alone with this Japanese girl. Then she asks for your “consent.” As an unaware gaijin, and given there’s only one conceivable reason why you’d have a Japanese woman in your apartment, you get your hopes up. But she only wants to charge her phone.

      For what it’s worth, I thought the pun was a bit of a stretch.

      1. So that’s like when I invited this girl back to my place for some udon, and she replied,

        “No thanks, I don’t like men.

        And I was like, “Really? You sure? All men?

        “Yeah,” she said, “But I’ll take anything else.


        “Uh huh. Anything but men.

        “So like, um, chicken would be okay?

        “Sure. Love chicken.

        “Seriously? How ’bout, say, a bunch of fish?

        “That sounds okay.

        “A potato?

        “With butter,” she answered, “absolutely.

        I was like, “Whoa, think I’ll take a rain check, but thanks.”

        And only years later did I learn that “men” is Japanese for noodles. Ah well, should’ve gone with the chicken.

  2. A friend referred to the “the N word” recently. I had no idea what she was talking about.

    (I’m sure this article will incite much insane rambling from Bud Martin)

    1. Heh, we’ll see. I think Bud’s a good guy, although perhaps a bit excitable and with a tendency to wander rather far afield. That being said, he recently contacted me privately to say that he would no longer be commenting on this site. And, the world waits.

  3. Finally, a new article! All the stalking bore fruit!

    About being ignored in Japan. I got back from Japan last week and we went on exchange visits to a university in Tokyo and to a school in Nagano. The students sucked, they always do. Because you’ll be right there and they’ll act like they can’t see you, and they’ll laugh at their inside jokes all while you’re trying so hard to remember what you came to the school for. Our group members all speak Japanese (intermediate and above) so when we asked them a question in Japanese, this kid looks at his friend and asks,”What is ‘furui’ in Engrish?”. Luckily she says,”They can understand Japanese!”. At least some one’s got a brain. Hmph. Sometimes you wonder what happens to the famed Japanese politeness and omotenashi when you come across such teenagers. Everyone’s a teenage douchebag there.

    Sorry, I just HAD to rant! Please update more often, haha.

    1. It’s not just the teenagers, but what’re you gonna do? It took me a while to figure out that there’s a difference between looking polite, and being polite. I’m kind of dense like that. And here I thought I’d stumbled upon a planet full of nice, kind people. Keep stumbling through the galaxy, starman.

  4. I believe the Alt-right would care more about your skin tone, white privilege, and if you aligned your political agenda with theirs. The USA’s two clown party system has begun burning down the circus tent =/. There is a global economic recession/shift of wealth upwards and nobody is really doing anything about it. All while the world begins to burn at a faster rate. *sigh*

    “Nah, it’s you, man. You only notice it more, now that you’re not here.
    “Yeah,” I said. “Yeah, I guess.”

    1. Sigh and the world sighs with you. You really have to wonder how long earth’s gonna last. Signs aren’t all that good. But hey, self-driving cars and robot bartenders are on their way, so at least that’ll distract us until it all blows up. I mean, blows over. It’ll all blow over.

  5. Another good read, really want to experience a Ken Seeroi drinking session but not sure my liver would survive.

    Some of the best times I had in Japan are just walking into a 300 coin bar or any bar and making friends / drinking buddies.

    1. You just have to remind your liver, No pain no gain. And yeah, the one coin bar is a staple of Japan. Of course, like potato chips, it’s never just one.

    1. So no more use of the word “girl” for women? All right, I could be okay with that, if it’s what you want. Anything for you, baby.

      1. im guilty of this one too, but i do see why women are trying to distance themselves from the use. to say woman does seem a bit harsh?a bit too biological? just as i would not call a dude “man” or even “ask the man over there” bc it sounds a bit pointed, even accusatory “that man”. but yes it is a recent development in the ever changing norms of the day. we have not quit replaced it.. dudette? (hmm not recognized by spellcheck, options only for dude, guess we are not there yet) i dunno but it does kind of cut you at the knees especially outside of fun social interaction. it kinda takes away any authority or clout you may have. you can be top accountant but once someone calls you girl you might as well be bringing coffee. in a time when many women (ugh), females? also no… support themselves and exist alone not under parental or husband guardianship, it takes away your power as self sustained. its again one im guilty of but i agree we should step away from. just wish we could think of another informal call card we could use. just as boy makes men cringe calling back to the “come here boy” days. girl is out of vogue. just not yet replaced… but please dont go with m’lady haha

    2. I think that’s more because girl is used as both the female equivalent of “guy” AND “boy” than anything.

      I mean, we have “gal”, but no one uses that but people down south.

    1. I haven’t written anything specific, although I lived in one for a couple of years.

      If you want to experience a share house, just check into a hostel for a few days, because it feels about the same. Thin walls, shared kitchen and bath. Not bad, if you like living with eight or more people.

  6. It’s probably a Texan thing that I’m most offended by your description of Texans, out of all the other nonsense you wrote.

    I love it, never change Ken.

    1. Heh, well at least I’m offending everyone equally. That’s not nothing.

      I actually like Texas, and I’ve had some really fun times there. Some of y’all do dress kind of funny though. Hopefully this isn’t new information.

      1. Have you been to Austin? Definition of dressing funny hah. After all “Keep Austin Weird” is the motto. Great city though, you should check it out!

        1. Yeah, Austin’s great. I had a chance to visit a few years ago. Lot of fun, cool people, and great music. Ah, now you’re making me miss America.

    2. Louie Gohmert, the dumbest man in Congress represents some particularly uneducated chunk of rural Texas. I think that says everything I want to say about Texas. Oh, and the cheerleading animal husbandry major / governor who wanted to eliminate the department of, he couldn’t remember which, until he was put in charge of it. Now that he runs the DOE, he’s all for it.

  7. Hi Ken, I’m here to tempt you with another free game offer – I have a code for Neverwinter Nights Diamond edition. NWN is a fantastic game, one of my absolutely favorite CRPGs! Would you like it?

    BTW, great post and witty as always!

    1. Wow, thanks so much. Neverwinter Nights Diamond—those are three (or four) words I never thought I’d see together, which can only mean that the game industry has run out of names.

      I googled it and the game does look pretty sick. But knowing my addictive personality, I’d better pass. Between studying Japanese, boozing, and womanizing, I’ve got a pretty full schedule.

  8. Ahhhh, Ken. Another great article, but I need to make an addendum to the “Tactical” part, as you missed out on the best thing: “Tacticool.” Tactical items are at least useful to those who need it (this includes tactical hats), where as “tacticool” is useless, and just looks like military porn. haha

    Also just read one of your old JapanToday articles from forever ago entitled “Why you shouldn’t learn Japanese” also enjoyable. I didn’t know you wrote in other places (pardon my ignorance). I keep saying I’ll visit next year, but now that I actually have a friend who teaches English (ironic?), I could probably pay him a visit.

    Stay awesome, Ken!

    1. Ah thanks. I wrote for other outlets more a few years back. It’s a bit of extra work, and since we all know how fun work is, these days I tend to just write here.

      And yeah, you should absolutely pay your friend a visit.

  9. Absolutely nothing to do with strange English, but I have just read that Prime Minister Abe is planning to visit Pearl Harbor to pay tribute to souls lost in the conflict.

    Unless he is planning on doing a full fall on the floor and touch your head down apology, I can’t see it going across with the US public, somehow.

    1. Well, President Obama did visit Hiroshima, and it didn’t seem to go badly. It’s probably time to put the second World War behind us.

      1. Well, Obama’s visiting Hiroshima was along the lines of “We didn’t want to, but it was necessary”.

        Obama may have added that the A-bomb ultimately saved the lives of many Japanese civilians and American servicemen.

        But there was nothing necessary about Japan’s attack on Pearl Harbor. I hope Abe understands that. It didn’t save any lives.

        My father served on Australian warships in the Pacific conflict during World War Two, and, in his memory, as long as I am alive, it will not be time to put it behind us.

        1. “Well, Obama’s visiting Hiroshima was along the lines of “We didn’t want to, but it was necessary”.

          That’s your take but not most others.

          “Obama may have added that the A-bomb ultimately saved the lives of many Japanese civilians and American servicemen.”

          Well did he or didn’t he? That’s a pretty half assed point, even though I know that’s a common excuse among americans.

          “My father served on Australian warships in the Pacific conflict during World War Two, and, in his memory, as long as I am alive, it will not be time to put it behind us.”

          It’s called war. One that ended seven decades ago. Maybe you can take some solace in “Little Boy” and “Fat Boy.”

          1. Okay, I agree that Obama didn’t say those things directly, but he did say that the atomic bombs ended the war, and the war was started by base motives. There was no explicit apology.

            This was wrapped in an appeal for a greater morality, for diplomacy and cooperation rather than conflict and the loss of innocent lives, for a nuclear weapon free future (but probably not in his lifetime), (and not forgetting that nations still must have the means to defend themselves).

            In all, uplifting talk, but still careful politician-speak that covers all bases and does not offend.

            As for Abe, he is wedged. Some members of his own party consider just a visit to Pearl Harbor as a de facto apology, while some Americans may actually want some explicit words of apology, which are unlikely to be forthcoming.

        2. I am pretty sure that 99% of Americans and Japanese alike will pay few to no attention to the visit.

          Seriously. Both countries have much more pressing matters to worry about. That, by the way, most people in both countries don’t care either.

          1. If 99% of Americans and Japanese pay little or no attention, and most people in both countries don’t care either, then why are Obama and Abe making the visit?

          2. Probably for the same reason that Abe and Obama fiercely supported the Trans-Pacific Partnership, despite the “average” American people being completely against it.

  10. Seriously Ken? Why all the hate for Caitlyn Jenner? I mean, okay, her name kind of sounds like a joke, but she’s not the best representative of the transgendered population (at least she had the guts to say fuck you to basically the ENTIRE planet). She’s special because 1) she’s famous (and an Olympian) 2) Kardashians and 3) she’s an EXTREMELY LATE TRANSITIONER. I mean, if I were her age I wouldn’t know what to do with myself (transitioning past 30ish is said to be a pain or not worth), but she had the money to do it all so who the fuck cares?

    The thing most people get wrong about transgendered people is that only the ones that don’t pass as well (or aren’t done transitioning) stick out––and for the ones that DO pass, you just assume they’re normal people or don’t even second guess them. So most people end up thinking trans people are these deformed half-breeds whereas a few of them simply just started transitioning, aren’t good at speaking like their desired gender, or just simply don’t have the traits of their desired gender. Like look at this hot trans Japanese girl:

    So I’m not quite sure if you’re really hating or not, but calling/referring to Caitlyn (as) a man is pretty ignorant and offensive. Let’s look at it this way: if you speak Japanese fluently, eat Japanese food, have (mostly) Japanese friends, work at a Japanese company, live in Japan, have more Japanese values, etc., etc., then what are you? American? Obviously you want to fit in with the culture and don’t want to stand out––and culturally speaking, your origins are western but you’ve clearly taken up a lot from Japan. And clearly, simply looking Asian isn’t enough to be Japanese––and there is no objective ‘true’ way to prove one’s race. Wouldn’t it be more accurate to just tell anyone you identify as Japanese in more ways than not?

    All of this applies to transgendered people. We might not have the same sex as the gender we identify as (at least originally), but psychologically it’s a different story. If everything matches the other gender except one’s sex, then what should someone arbitrarily be defined by?––their (original) sexual organ (which they can change) or their true nature (性)? The only difference between your Japanese-ness and my trans-ness is that I can actually take hormones to change my look to one that feels more comfortable, while you don’t exactly have any drugs to make you look more Japanese (well beer might make you more Japanese, who knows).

    What I’m trying to say, Ken, is that
    1) Caitlynn Jenner’s name is agreeably slightly offputting
    2) but you should reconsider your views on people who have more complex issues than you may understand, because you just might be making yourself look stupid and
    3) YOU, KEN SEEROI, are TRANS-RACE. Congratulations, you are now Japanese, even though you might not quite look it. Next time someone complements you on your Japanese, just say WELL THATS BECAUSE I AM JAPANESE and just stare at their disbelieving face until they have to look away (trust me, this will always work).

    Yellow orange lavender olive, you might as well be YOURSELF, no matter how ignorant and stuck-up everyone else is.

    1. Real Girl,

      First, since you’re obviously pushing a PC agenda regarding transgenderism, I question the truthfulness of your moniker.

      Second, every single cell in BRUCE Jenner’s body contains male DNA, so I declare the very notion of transgenderism to be a false social construct, therefore your argument is invalid. There is only biological male and female. The fact is that BRUCE Jenner mutilated HIMself and is now a eunuch, not a woman.

      Third, Since Ken was born a caucasian in America he is, and will always be a caucasian American no matter where he lives, or for how long, or what language he speaks fluently, or which country’s passport he has in his pocket. No amount of politically correct wishful thinking (or more accurately: feeling) will change his birthplace or race.

      I’ve never been to Japan but after reading so many of Ken’s articles here I think it’s safe to say that the average Japanese person would find all this so obvious as to be self-evident, unlike the typical PC-brainwashed, leftist, public school “edumacated” American (like you) who is all about MUH FEELS, and can’t think logically enough to recognize reality as it is, rather than how he would wish for it to be.

      1. Actually, MARK S, taking hormones changes your cells from ‘male’ to ‘female’, whatever that may be. It also obviously makes the mind basically look the same as a biological female’s with PET scans or what you have it, so there is little objective difference between the mind of a trans woman and a biological woman. LOL

        You seriously need to review literally everything you understand about objective truth, because you sound like a SIXTEEN YEAR OLD. But what can I do to help you, you’re helpless. If you would, however, like to cleanse your mind of your objectivism, read Metaphors We Live By. It might just enlighten you, which, judging by your insensitive baseless argument, you very much seem in dire need of.

    2. Dear Little Caitlynn is a Republican, and therefore very confused. A trans-Republican is the very definition of confusion and self-hatred.

  11. On the Alt Right:

    “Are Italians okay? French people? Israelis? Russians?”

    Yes, yes, no, yes.

    – As someone who associated with the movement in the past, but has since left it as it turned into its own caricature.

  12. LMFAO,
    Incorrect. The treatment does not change the XY chromosome present in every cell to XX. They are still male cells. The hormone “therapy” overrides secondary gender characteristics, but since it has to be artificially introduced to the body from the outside, one could say that it’s like taking a drug, forcing temporary changes that would not naturally occur otherwise. If one stops taking the hormones the artificially induced female characteristics would naturally fade away over time. In other words, Bruce Jenner’s “female-ness” is fake.

    1. The idea that an all knowing, all powerful God who was uptight about sexual identity invented transexuals is quite comic.

  13. I am facepalming so hard that I’m surprised Tokyo is still intact. Why someone would rant about Caitlyn on a satirical blog is beyond me.

    Ken, you keep doing you. I love you for it. Your blog is the reason I am adjusting as well as I am to this country.

    1. That makes two of us. The wacky blog about being maladjusted in Japan is the only thing that helps me adjust. Anyway, thanks for the support.

  14. Well, as a certain writer would say, Ken, seems like you’ve seceded into outer space. I guess it’s not like I don’t understand, but still, if you don’t care I wish you didn’t write about it, it’s like the most half-assed flame bait ever.

    1. Your comment perplexes me.

      When you say, “I wish you didn’t write about it,” what’s “it”?

      You’re making me think I’m losing the ability to comprehend English.

  15. Not sure about your grasp of the definition of foodie; sounds more like the definition of “arrogant prick” to me.

    In Malaysia where I lived in for 12 years, foodie is typically defined as someone who really likes food. and that’s about 90% of the population in Malaysia cause if there’s one topic almost all of them talk about while eating, it’s food. and more food.

  16. you do not have the correct definition for a fuck boy. a fuckboy is not based on dress in anyway. it is a term women use to describe a man who jerks women around, is unreliable, sleeps around and often leads women on, dates multiple women at once and is in general just messing with your emotions. ie so what happen with todd? he turned out to be a fuck boy. i hate to say it but in many of your posts where you talk about dating you would be considered a fuck boy.

    1. also the reason boy is used instead of man is to again show that they are immature, not yet a man just a fuckboy. similar to manchild.

      1. Happy to help 😉 just found your blog through a friend who once lived in NY but was forced to move back to Japan (originally from there). He is always complaining about life and culture in Japan, but until i read your posts i never really understood why. really interesting stuff, working my way through your catalogue. keep it up fuckboy! hahaha

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