I have Japan to thank for making me gay. I’m pretty sure it did anyway, since it’s fairly dessicated my mojo. I keep checking the mirror to make sure, and while I don’t look a whole lot gayer than before, the evidence is certainly mounting. Like I woke up this morning, and instead of my usual manly breakfast of cold pizza, eggs, and coffee, I had yogurt. Fruit yogurt. Now, to be fair, Japan does have some really amazing flavors, like aloe yogurt, fig yogurt, mango . . . Ah jeez, I’m just glad my uncles aren’t around to see what I’ve become. Thank God they all passed away from a lifetime of bourbon and Lucky Strikes. Continue reading “How Japan Made me Gay”
There’s only one word to describe my recent vacation to the U.S.: Oh . . . my . . . God. Ohmygod.
I went back for two weeks, or as we say in Japan, a fortnight. That’s a long time when every waking moment is filled with The Horror. By which I mean that between jet lag and culture shock, I feel lucky to have made it back to Japan at all. When I finally stepped off the plane at Narita I teared up so much that I just hugged the first flight attendant I saw. She happened to be from Korean Air, but I figured, eh, close enough. They’re very soft too, those Koreans. Continue reading “One Startling Trip to America”