Well, I visited a Japanese elementary school this week and had lunch with the kids, which was some kind of sparrow egg stew or something. It didn’t really agree with me, probably because I don’t like gruel all that much. Of course, thinking about the main ingredient coming out of a sparrow did little to improve matters. And actually, I’m not all that crazy about kids either. Anyway, the triple combination made me have to use the bathroom in a big way, so I ran down the hall, jumped in the stall, and was like, Oh Christ, where the hell’s the toilet? Where the Throne of Glory was supposed to be there was just a porcelain trough. Continue reading “Japan, Happiest Place on Earth”
Why is everything in Japan is so freaking small? I really don’t get it. Like, they say Japanese people are short, but they’re really not. Sure, there’s some grannies who could pass as Seven Dwarf number eight, but there’s also plenty of folks around my height, and I’m six foot. Although I do wear a lot of vertical stripes, so maybe that makes me look taller, I don’t know.
At any rate, I finally got a gentsuki, which is what we call a moped here in Japan. Continue reading “One Very Small Japanese Motorcycle”
I went to see my Japanese doctor last week, because I decided I had AIDS. This happens to me all the time, so it’s really no big deal. The problem is that I recently moved, so now going to talk to the man in the white coat means I have to ride the train for an hour. So inconvenient, really, all that medical stuff.
Aside from its distance from the hospital, I love my new place. The only thing is, it’s small. I mean like Wizard of Oz small. Continue reading “My Japanese AIDS Test”
So I finally got a Japanese driver’s license, which anyone who lives here for more than six months should really get. Well, okay, so I got a scooter license. Contrary to popular belief, this does not automatically make me gay. Astride my Japanese moped, I’m easily as macho as that construction worker from The Village People, plus I have more chest hair. Man, I love that guy. Continue reading “Getting a Japanese Scooter License”