At first, you might think the Japanese place great importance on addressing others properly. After all, it’s a nation where even elephants get called Zou-san. That’s Mr. Elephant to you.
The reality is that this naming convention works flawlessly until someone who looks “foreign” enters the scene, at which point thousands of years of custom go straight out the window.
I was at a party last Saturday, and found myself talking with two guys a little younger than myself. One guy was tall with great hair, while the other was a bit pudgy and shorter. They didn’t know each other, and so they introduced themselves to one another by their last names, as Japanese typically do when speaking in Japanese. Then they asked my name, and I said “Seeroi.” “Seeroi?” said the guy with great hair. “What’s your first name?” When I told him “Ken,” he then introduced himself by his first name, at which point the pudgy guy followed suit, and for the rest of the night I was “Ken,” while they still referred to each other by their last names. The entire conversation took place in Japanese, but apparently everything changes when you talk to a white guy.
What about my last name? And can I get a “san” up in here?
Until I moved to Japan, I never cared how people addressed me. Ken, Kenneth, Kenny—if it makes you happy, I’m cool with it. I just don’t want to be singled out. I especially don’t want to be singled out because of my race.
In Japanese, I always introduce myself in the Japanese format of last name followed by first name. In which case, I am invariably called by my first name. Sometimes I’ll even say only my last name, as the Japanese do. If so, I’m certain to be asked my first name, and then referred to by it. This happens, oh, ten out of ten times.
When I taught grade school, the students would stand and bow to greet both the Japanese teacher and myself. With a loud voice they’d chant “Good morning Yamaguchi Sensei and . . . Ken.” The lesson was clear: people who look Japanese are addressed by their last names; people who don’t, aren’t. Maybe “racism” is too strong a word, but I have yet to find a “foreigner” who is referred to by their last name, as every other Japanese person is.
So I’ve put this case to Japanese people: if they went to an English-speaking country where everyone was on a first-name basis, such as Ryan or Sam or Abby, Would they want to be called Ms. Tanaka or Mr. Honda? No way, they say. Every Japanese person I’ve mentioned this to has heartily agreed that they wouldn’t want to be singled out. Could they understand why I wouldn’t want to receive differential treatment here in Japan? They certainly could. They told me–That makes complete sense, Ken. Well, they’re consistent if nothing else.
When I request to be called by my last name, I’m always met with the same response. But Ken, we just want to be friendly with you! To which I say, why me? You don’t want to be friendly with anybody else? Your other coworkers, your other roommates—what about them? You want the school kids to be friendly with the English teacher, but not the History teacher or the P.E. teacher? Why do I have to be the friendly one? Like I’m Frosty the effing Snowman or something.
About the only recourse I can think of is to legally change my name to something more Japanese. Maybe if I became Sakamoto Ryouma, then I’d finally be called by my last name. But I know that wouldn’t happen. The first thing they’d ask would be “what was your name before?” And then they’d call me Ken.
As long as Japanese people continue to refer to Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise as exactly that ( first first, last last ) you can expect things to never change. I have a site about Japanese names and people often mail me questions like that. I wouldn’t stress about it.
http://japanese-names.blogspot.com
I hear you. It’s just one of those “things” that comes with living here.
It’s not really the ordering of the name that’s the problem, of course. Rather it’s the fact that a lot of Japanese people are quick to dismiss a foreign-looking person’s last name. There’s the perception that Japanese have to be addressed respectfully, but it’s okay to be casual with “foreigners.” I don’t know, but treating someone differently based upon their appearance doesn’t seem like a very good idea.
Love your insight and agree with you. Unfortunately, it seems ingrained and will take at least a full generation to change. Since, addressing new acquaintances, especially in business or school, by their first name is rather unique to North America (one of the least formal of all cultures), it is interesting that they would adopt that. Would they do the same with more formal Europeans, or Mid-East or Central Asians?
Generally, the more Asian you appear, the more “Japanese” you get treated in all respects. That’s insane really, since the notion of “looking Japanese” is completely specious. Well, don’t get me started on that, but let’s just say there are lots of different faces contained within the moniker of “Japanese.” That being said, if you appear vaguely “Japanese” (Chinese, Indonesian, Mexican, American Indian), and have a correspondingly un-Western name (i.e., not “John Smith”), you have a much higher chance of being referred to by your last name. On the other hand, if you look completely Caucasian, expect to be called John, Johnnie, or whatever anyone else feels like calling you at the time.
I have to say though, a lot of the responsibility (which sounds way better than “blame”) lies with the foreign visitors (and occasionally residents) in Japan. It’s a common complaint that Japanese people will never allow foreigners into “their” society. While that may be true to a degree for any immigrant anywhere, you have to wonder, how hard are we trying to fit in? It’s not uncommon for Asian immigrants to adopt Western names, but how many Westerners do the same? Introducing yourself by your last name is really the least you could do if you want to approach being on equal footing.
Although I’ve stopped short of changing my name to Suzuki, at least this year I’ve got everyone at my workplace referring to me by last name only, and it works out much better for everyone. It was a bit uncomfortable initially, since when they met me they assumed I a) wanted to be called “Ken”; b) preferred to speak English; and c) ate hot dogs for every meal. The truth is, you’ve really got to tell people, because they just don’t know.
I’m moving over in February to trade in podiatry for english teaching for a while. My surname is Ferguson which made me worry I might end up with some embarrassing situations. I was worried that introducing myself “Ferguson” would be heard as “Fergu-san” thus coming across as arrogant for adding the “san” in reference to myself. I had planned to just introduce myself as “Fergu” leaving the Japanese to refer to me as “Fergu-san” which would have made me giggle inside every time as they basically just pronounce my real first name.
After reading this however it appears is’s all a moot point now. “Annoru” it is :S
Podiatry, wow. That’s a great field. I also have a strong interest in the study of iPods. Anyway, congratulations on deciding to make the jump to Japan. Your name presents a rather amusing dilemma, and I like the inside joke of getting Japanese people to address you by adding -san to “Fergu.” Very clever.
A couple of things for you to think about though. One is that, although I find it awkward to ask people to use my last name in social situations, I do make a point of it at work, and everyone is fine with that. On the first day, I just smile and say, “Oh, it’s Seeroi, not Ken,” and it really works out much better. It seems particularly appropriate with young children, who themselves are often addressed by their last names. For them to address a teacher by his first name, (and, frankly, just because he’s white), seems like a bad idea. But maybe that’s just me.
But back to your name. The Japanese language requires rather subtle distinctions between vowel sounds, and the differences between “Ah,” “Oh,” and “Uh” should be easy to pick up for Japanese speakers. My guess is that your name in English is pronounced closer to “sun” than “san” (as in “sand”). Japanese people would not mistake it if you stressed the “U” sound. Agreed, it’s a bit of a tongue-twister, but hey, we’re used to that. Takadanobaba.
Alternately, you could pronounce the “son” with an “O” sound (as in “own”). That would be a fairly easy solution. Ultimately, though, I suspect the first part of your name–”Fur”–may prove more troubling than the ending, since Japanese lacks a decent “R” sound, rendering your name into something like “Faa-ge-son.” That being the case, I would advise you to apply for a legal name change now, before you get here, and avoid the problem altogether. Something like Honda or Suzuki would be good.
“Maybe “racism” is too strong a word, but I have yet to find a “foreigner” who is referred to by their last name, as every other Japanese person is.”
You should generate a new word starting with “xeno”, in my humble opinion. Xenophobia sounds incorrect, too.
Ah, if only I knew enough ancient Greek to translate “astonishment” it would be enough, I think.
How does it sound to you “xenoastonishment”? =/
Xenostonishment. Love it. Rolls right off the tongue. Like, “When I walked in and started speaking Japanese, the waitress at the izakaya was xenostonished.” Gotta make that part of my daily vocabulary.