Japan Wins Every Sport in Winter Olympics

Last week, I ate school lunch in the staff room, sitting at a table with plates full of mini omelets, rice, daikon salad, and some goo of tofu mixed with beans, which is rather redundant, if you think about it. Well, probably best not to think about it, actually. Plus a slice of orange for desert.

“Seeroi sensei,” asked the school nurse in Japanese, “Do you like green tea?”

“Yeah sure,” I said. I mean, who doesn’t like tea?

And they all laughed. Continue reading “Japan Wins Every Sport in Winter Olympics”

Japanese Snack Bars and Some Tough Love

So here I am rushing home from my Japanese grocery store last month, and it’s dark out and I’m carrying bags and bags full rice and vegetables and seafood. This is all part of my new diet plan, whereby I eat healthily by schlepping home nutritious groceries, which also counts as exercise. So that’s a win-win. Anyway, the road’s got no sidewalks and it was a dangerous sensory overload of headlights and engine noise as I hugged the buildings to my left and clutched all these plastic bags in front of me so they didn’t get smacked by a Honda or Nissan or something.

Then as I was hurrying, I passed a small Japanese child, crying like mad. Continue reading “Japanese Snack Bars and Some Tough Love”

Why I Hate the Internet

For some peculiar reason, the universe decided to stop functioning exactly two days ago. After my latest article about The Best Japanese Website, many people had trouble reaching this site, including me. It was like somebody kicked the plug out of the back of the internet, so that instead of being greeted with my unique brand of deliciously shochu-fueled writings, there was a slightly less welcoming

Internal Server Error

followed by some gobbledygook about contacting some fictional server administrator somewhere. Continue reading “Why I Hate the Internet”

The Best Japanese Website

You know, I don’t read a lot of websites about Japan, mostly because if I wanted to know something about the country, I’d just roll over in my futon and look out the window. Like, oh now there’s a guy pushing a cart with a fiery oven full of sweet potatoes down the street, a woman in a fox fur hat and tiny miniskirt talking on an Android phone the size of her head, and a kid by himself, pitching balls against the dark wall of an apartment block by a dim street lamp. Yep, still Japan. Continue reading “The Best Japanese Website”