Did you know that when you get a coffee from a convenience store in Japan, it comes in a can, not a styrofoam cup? For real, it does. My favorite brand is Black Boss, just because it sounds hilarious. For some odd reason, Tommy Lee Jones is the spokes-model for the coffee. They have his old wrinkly-ass face on posters all over Japan, above the headline “Black Boss.” Personally, I think Rick Ross would be a better choice.
In other news, last weekend I worked on a farm. While I thought it would be kind of exhilarating in a back-to-nature sort of way, it was more like hitting stalks of wheat with a bamboo stick for eight hours. Man, working on a farm sucks. Being a farmer must really suck. All I did what hit this effing wheat with a stick and little wheatlets would fall off. Like you ever hear the expression–separating the wheat from the chaff? Well, me neither, but that’s apparently what I did. And that was kind of cool, to see where wheat actually comes from, for about 30 seconds. And then I was like, man, I need a break. Gonna drink me a Black Boss and get my relax on. But instead we did that shit until sundown, all covered in wheat dust.
The stuff gets all up in your nose and eyes. It’s like working in a sand factory. Apparently, we were involved in an early stage of soba noodle production, but all I know is that I never saw noodle one.
At night I slept on the farm with these two old snoring Japanese dudes on a tatami floor and drank a mess of beer and ate boiled crabs and woke up with a hangover and then whacked more wheat with a bamboo stick. At the end of the second day I got a bag of rice and 400 tangerines for my efforts. Seriously, what the hell’s a single guy going to do with 400 tangerines? My skin’s already turning orange just from trying to eat them all. Those damn things sure are juicy though.