When Jasmine over at Zooming Japan asked me to write about dating Japanese women, my first thought was, “Ain’t no way Ken Seeroi’s touching that one.”
In case you haven’t noticed, people are majorly opinionated about Their Japan. And not just Japanese folks either; I mean foreigners. Like if I said, “Japanese architecture is stunning,” somebody’d stand up and complain that the cities are just jumbled amalgamations of aging concrete projects. Alllll righty. Then how about “Japan’s got some ugly-ass cities”? Oh now somebody else starts rambling about traditional homes being all infused with zen beauty, and rock gardens, and koi fish. So yeah, everybody’s got an opinion. Welcome to the internet.
And that’s just architecture. So talk about Japanese women? Can’t I just give my thoughts on gun control, the Iraq war, and religion? Cause those’d be less controversial.
But you know, if there’s one thing Ken Seeroi never backs down from, it’s a challenge. Hard work? Okay, I’d back down from that. Getting up early? Yeah, wake me at noon. But a challenge? Well, if it’s not too difficult, I might give it a go. Plus, Jasmine kind of got my hackles up with a previous post.
Myths About Japan no one Wants to Dispel
Now, I like Jasmine, I really do. She’s a German blogger, and I give her mad props for being able to write so well in English. And although I’ve never met her, from what I gather she’s a very cool person. But you know, since I’m also a wee bit opinionated about My Japan, I had to take issue with some of her previous stuff:
“If you’ve ever been to Japan you might have noticed that there’s a tremendous number of (often not so handsome) foreign guys walking hand-in-hand with Japanese women.
“. . . dating in Japan is usually quite easy for men. At least getting one woman after another into your bed, is really easy, even if you’re quite ugly! For some reason Japanese women seem to find even ugly foreign guys attractive …..”
Now I don’t even know what hackles are, but if I’ve got any, I’m sure that got them up.
Japanese Women are Easy for Foreign Guys
So according to information found on “the internet,” being a foreign guy makes it easy to land Japanese girls. The funny thing is, I don’t think I’ve actually met any guys here who’ve said that. (Now cue mad comments like “Well, I got laid in Tokyo last night.”) A lot of dudes who’ve been here for years gripe about the exact opposite. But I can’t deny that I’ve heard that foreign guys are popular . . . somewhere . . . now where was that?
Oh right. From foreign women, and Japanese guys.
Or to put it another way, everybody thinks it’s easy for the other person.
Know what “priming” is? Well, I don’t really either, but I imagine it’s that thing where if I say, “Japanese people are shy,” then you start noticing all the ways in which they’re shy.
Well, there’s a ton of that regarding Japan. Japanese people are short. They wear glasses. They’re disciplined. They like “foreigners.”
It’s like somebody visited Japan one time, went home and wrote about it, and from then on everybody ran around repeating the same stuff. There’s a short guy—-the Japanese really are short! There’s a Japanese woman walking with a black man—-they like black guys! Basically about 99 percent of what’s written about Japan is just regurgitating some myth that somebody else said. Well, at least Japanese people really are polite. I mean, they are, right? Ah, let’s just say right and move on.
The Truth About Dating Japanese Women
Ever been to a nightclub? I mean in any country. At the end of the night, there’s always people hooking up. In fact, if you stay long enough, and you don’t hook up, then by default everyone’s hooking up but you. That’s because the people who didn’t get lucky have already left. There’s some statistical thing going on, is what I’m trying to say. It’s not that 100% of the people got lucky; it’s that you’re the only one who stayed around gawking.
And so it goes, in France, Germany, Bermuda, and all over the world. Men and women are meeting each other, at clubs, coffee shops, and at the mailbox on the corner. So do foreign guys also go out with Japanese women? Sure. Of course. And you probably don’t notice it much unless—-oh wait—-they’re of different races. I personally think the “foreign guy with Japanese girl” sighting is pretty rare. They’re just far more noticeable, that’s all. “Tremendous number”? Really? What’s that, like five, six? Yeah, the tremendous number six. Half a dozen couples a day, out of cities with millions of people.
Japan Easier for Men than Women, According to Women
So I didn’t entirely relish wading into all this, but then Jasmine threw out a leading question I couldn’t resist:
Some people say it’s much easier for foreign men to “get” a Japanese woman than for foreign women to get a Japanese guy. What do you think about it? What’s your experience?
For one, I thought it was a strange question, partly because of the word “get,” which sounds like you’re going fishing for Japanese people. But whatever. For another, I felt the real question was, “Is it easier to date in Japan than it is anywhere else?”
I don’t know what it’s like as a woman. Because I’m not a woman. But as a man, I personally don’t think it is. Sure, I get dates here. But I got dates back in the U.S., and I didn’t have to send fifty text messages before a lady’d let me pay for her entire dining experience. Did ya have to order two appetizers and desert? Jeez, for such skinny people, Japanese gals can sure pack it away.
So in the End
So in the end, I wrote the article, partly because I enjoy reading Jasmine’s site and wanted to contribute. Although I still believe that for her to opine about dating as a foreign man seems roughly on par with me talking about being a German blogger. I mean, can you really talk about dating Japanese women . . . when you’ve never dated a Japanese woman? Okay, let it go, Seeroi, let it go.
So that’s kind of how my article came to be. And if it sounds a bit like I’m down on Japanese women, that’s not the case. I love Japanese women. Really, as often as they let me. What I’m not so cool with is repeating the same unfounded information about Japan. It was just the hackles, really. Anyway, if you’ve made it through this lengthy preface, then go check out the full article in all its glory, and let me know what you think. Peace.