Your Brain on 10,000 Sentences

Your Brain on 10,000 Sentences

You’re gonna need a way bigger hat All my life goals come from the internet. And so somewhere, in the ten minutes a day I spend surfing sites that don’t need to be immediately cleared from my browser, I stumbled upon the notion that studying 10,000 sentences was the one true path to learning Japanese….

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Renting an Apartment in Japan

Renting an Apartment in Japan

I recently moved to a new apartment, my sixth since coming to Japan, and I couldn’t be happier. My first place left a wee bit to be desired, consisting of a dreary, small box with alternating views of a machine shop and a cinder-block wall. Well, at least it had two windows, so that was…

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7 Rules for Karaoke in Japan

7 Rules for Karaoke in Japan

If you happen to find yourself in Tokyo, then Shibuya’s a great place to start an evening. So we were there at Starbucks, just Aki and me slamming back steaming black grandes and Hitomi sipping some kind of whipped cream desert marketed to her as a coffee. I swear I don’t know how she stays…

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What Japanese Girls Want

What Japanese Girls Want

Mei’s the girlfriend you’d love to have but can’t, because my buddy Yuki got her first. She’s got big eyes, enormous boobs, long brown hair curled into ringlets, and an ass that’ll make you reevaluate your life. When Mei wears a sweater more people line up for a viewing than Star Wars. Is she smart?…

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Japan’s a Scam

Japan’s a Scam

I was drinking with Sandy in the park recently. It was dark and naturally we were on the swing set. “I’ll just never be happy here,” she said. “Congratulations,” I replied, “you’re finally Japanese. Here, have a chu-hi. It’s got real lemon flavor.” Then we kampai-ed as our swings passed, which is hard to do…

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Making Friends in Japan

Making Friends in Japan

People say Japan’s a lonely place. But people say a lot of things, including that America’s the greatest nation on earth. Well, they do have a lot of eagles, cheeseburgers, and guns, so I guess it must be true. Anyway, recently a reader asked if it was hard to make friends in Japan, to which…

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Tokyo Salaries: All You Need to Know

Tokyo Salaries: All You Need to Know

Japan’s not expensive—let’s just sweep that 1980’s-era myth right under the rug. Still, if you want to be a baller in one of the world most amazing cities (i.e. Tokyo), you might want to rethink your grand scheme of selling authentic Chinese Rolexes on a Shinjuku street corner. But okay, Seeroi, just tell me, how…

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Going to a Japanese Dentist

Going to a Japanese Dentist

  I’m probably the only person in the world who enjoys going to the dentist. But you know, between running for trains, dashing to the bathroom between English lessons, and constantly being pressured to sing Bowie at karaoke, it’s the only time I can get any rest. Hey, Japan’s an extraordinarily busy place, especially if…

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Fitting in in Japan

Fitting in in Japan

Now, here’s a conundrum for you: let’s say that you’re working in a Japanese office, and it’s the end of the day. Of course, all the Japanese folks are typing like mad, as they’ve done since dawn. You want to be a team player but Hey, it’s 6 p.m., and let’s add that it’s Friday…

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Taking a Japanese Name

Taking a Japanese Name

Living in Japan long enough will make anyone mental. I’m pretty sure I can convince you of this. But let’s back up, to when I lived in the U.S. There, I dated a Taiwanese gal named Amy. She had long black hair, an incredibly tight body, and loved karaoke. She was quite good at it…

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