What’s Japan Like?

What’s Japan Like?

This is partly the tale of three Japanese women. Erika Lives in Hokkaido In the winter, she walks to the station past mountains of snow piled higher than her head, but she can usually get a seat on the train, and her apartment’s nice and warm, so she’s happy. Plus, she likes wearing high leather…

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Avoiding Meltdown in Japan

Avoiding Meltdown in Japan

Self-improvement is one of my long-standing goals. You know, striving to be a better human being and all, mentally, physically, and spiritually. Basically like Schwarzenegger in The Terminator, only without the scary eyes, and slightly more buffed. Fortunately, I accomplished that goal in 2004, which was good because it freed up lots of time for…

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Why Japanese People Lie

Why Japanese People Lie

A reader named Furansujin recently described his stay with a Japanese host family: “They showed complete hysteria when I told them I loved curry or could eat takoyaki . . . the only reason i can think of for so many grins, laughs, and exclamations is acting. Like people were overly polite because they felt…

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A Friend of Mine Learned Japanese in 1 Year

A Friend of Mine Learned Japanese in 1 Year

A reader recently posted an intriguing comment about foreign sumo wrestlers: “Within a year, they have a command of the language that would take most students years to develop.” Implying that with enough immersion and dedication, it’s possible to speak Japanese well in a short amount of time. Apparently, there’s a Japanese book that popularized…

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How to Write Japanese

How to Write Japanese

You gotta love Anna. Seriously, because everyone loves Anna. She’s a busty, blonde Swiss-German who grew up playing the piano and speaking Swiss. And German. And English. And now she speaks perfect Japanese. God, I hate her. Nah, just kidding. Anna’s okay. In high school, she “picked up” French, Spanish, and Italian. Well, they’re all…

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Going to Alcoholics Anonymous in Japan

Going to Alcoholics Anonymous in Japan

There’s only two things you need to know about being an alcoholic in Japan. The first is why you’ll become one, and the second is how to cure your pickled ass. Fortunately for you, Ken Seeroi has already been there and back, so you’re covered in both departments. So I recently quit drinking. This was…

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Life and Death in Japan

Life and Death in Japan

I woke up, and a beautiful geisha was serving me tea. Ah, every day should be like this. “Here is tea,” she said in a dream-like Japanese voice. “Here is Ken Seeroi,” I replied, “nice to meet you. “You’ll like it. Just try a little. “Think I’ll just go back to sleep now, thanks. “How…

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Going to a Japanese Hospital

Going to a Japanese Hospital

Death is coming for us all. Not to worry though, because I plan to upload myself to iCloud in anticipation of my eventual robot body. Then we’ll see who has abs of steel. Heh, you can keep your reverse crunches. In the meantime, since I still need to maintain the meat body, I went to…

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Why are Japanese so Skinny?

Why are Japanese so Skinny?

The crazy thing about working in a Japanese office is that, while knowing absolutely nothing substantial about your co-workers, you can still observe their most intimate habits. But maybe that’s any office, actually. I mean, when I worked in the U.S., there were a lot of folks I didn’t really know either. Although it seems…

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Casino Theme Parks: Is Japan Finally Giving In?

Casino Theme Parks: Is Japan Finally Giving In?

or, How I Became a Japanese Mercenary Last Tuesday around midnight, I found myself in a little Japanese bar, although I had to work Wednesday morning. I have no self control, basically. A couple seats down was a Japanese salaryman, and since the place was empty, we started chatting, until he suddenly hopped up. “Watch…

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